Supermouse has moved two blocks

So my brother, Luther, and his girlfriend Lindsey had a rat in their apartment two blocks away from mine some time ago, and Lindsey's coverage of the event was hilarious and took place over many days. Originally they had dubbed the rat "Supermouse" because of its size, but eventually repeated sightings proved it was a rat. If you are friends with Lindsey I recommend you read her story if you haven't before. Mine is not nearly as interesting. And hopefully no where near as long-lived...

Today, Supermouse came to my house. Natalie was thankfully not home, and I am working from home this week so was able to deal with it. I walked into the kitchen and saw a dark blur run under the oven. Yesterday our cat had parked himself in front of the oven for a while and made us suspect something was wrong, but I couldn't confirm it with a flashlight scan. So after seeing the blur today, I knew my nightmare had come true. It was bigger than mice are supposed to be, so of course I thought, "oh crap, I've got a rat."

I quickly grabbed the cat and sat him in front of the oven. I looked at him and said "do your job, damn it," because he sucks at being a cat. I rattled a broom under the oven trying to stir it out and let the cat take care of it, but he quickly lost interest and walked to the dining room to lay in the sun spot. Useless. So I grabbed my keys and headed to Home Depot for rat-fighting supplies.

I flirted with the idea of the sarin pellets but thought of a dead rat decomposing in the walls of my home and kind of gagged. No, it had to be something that removed the problem in the open. The wooden and copper guillotine. These dangerous traps come in two sizes - mouse (tiny) or rat (frigging gigantic). I needed the medium size based on my assessment of the blur, but of course had to settle for the super-size.

I came home and set the trap with cheese beside the oven. First try! When I had tried to help Luther set his own I couldn't do it at all. I was very proud. I put up a barrier to keep the cat from investigating the trap and went into the living room to email my landlord.

Two sentences into the composition and I heard a vicious crack. I ran into the kitchen to see the world's biggest mouse (it had a dark thin unridged tail, which I think is not a rat tail) twitching like crazy with the trap turned over on top of him. It was really awful, like he was trying to swim. I grabbed a bucket and tried to put it over him and the trap in case he was able to escape, but the bucket wouldn't fit. He wouldn't stop twitching so I grabbed the broom and brought the handle down on the trap quickly to finish the job. He stopped moving immediately. Okay, job done. Good. Yuck.

I went back to the living room to continue writing my email to the landlord with the new update, and when I finished I thought about what to do next. I knew I needed to dispose of it, but I was also thinking about what would happen if another one showed up. An exterminator might be needed, and would benefit from knowing what kind of animal it is, right? I pulled the trap open and released the body onto the floor. It looked kind of peaceful but with a flat neck. I put a quarter beside him for scale (!) and took a picture with my cell phone. Evidence for future exterminators. Then I put him in a paper bag, then in a plastic bag, and then in the green bin. It's organic waste, right?

It took me 8 tries to reset the trap and put it back into the sweet spot that worked so well. It's set and waiting. Let's hope it was a one-off...Supermouse doesn't breed, does he?